“Love is bullshit. There is nothing called unconditional love. You get married just to have unlimited sex. Good you broke up. Being single is the best thing ever. At least I will never get married.”
This was me talking to a friend 3 years ago. More than me, it was the internal bitterness and acrimony acquired in the past couple of years, that was doing the talking. After two years to a broken engagement and a failed relationship, I was still not done with the humiliation and cesspool I was exposed to. Occasional emotional blackmailing and pressure from parents continued at crescendo, but all in vain.
My dad had created a matrimony account for me without my knowledge. Let that be a story for some other day, but before I could pour my wrath, he suffered a stroke and got admitted to hospital on a Valentine’s Day. Yes, when the whole world was busy celebrating love, I was running from pillar to post to arrange insurance papers. “I am not going to be there always. Everybody needs a companion.” He whispered in my ears.
Something pinched inside.
It was March 13, 2014, a relatively leisure day at office when I decided to check my Facebook account. I logged in and by mistake, clicked on the other folder. For those who don’t know, “other folder” is your inbox which stores messages from people who are not in your friend list. The chances of opening that folder is zilch for many of us, especially if you usually check Facebook from your smartphone.
That day was different.
There were many “U R saaaxxxyy” and “Wanna Fraaaandshhippp” kind of messages popping up. And then there was this one guy who was consistent with his messages asking if he could know me better! His name was Ratul Majumdar. He had messaged me 8 times in 6 months. Going through his messages, I got to know that he saw my profile on the infamous matrimony account created by my dad. And, to my horror, he wanted to meet me as a prospective bride. I replied calmly, marriage wasn’t on my mind at that stage. Within seconds, there was a response.
“Who said I would force you into marriage? I just want to know you better. I know it sounds cliché, but ever since I have seen your profile I wanted to meet you.”
Whooooo! That was too creepy and outlandish to read at the first stage. But, the fact remains, flattery works well on girls. He asked whether he could call, indirectly asking for my number. I shared. He called late on that evening. We spoke for the whole night. For a person who gets annoyed if a phone call stretches beyond 10 minutes, 5 hours was a record in itself. I didn’t know how it happened, but he managed to get an introvert, short tempered person talk as if flood-gates had opened.
The next few weeks were not as hunky dory as one would assume. His over-attention and over-caring ways rattled me badly. I was not able to make peace with the fact that he was genuinely in love with me. I suspected he would flirt and leave. I kept looking for avenues that would allow me to catch him red-handed. He always came clean. I blocked him; hurled abuses; threatened to get families involved; even warned about filing an FIR. Nothing seemed to make any difference.
Till then it was a long distance “acquaintance” between Vapi and Kolkata. And then he came to meet the next month. Our first date was at Nicco Park, Kolkata. I knew he would never want to meet me again after this because I was about to share my views on marriage. I told him everything in one breath. That I have had few failed relations behind me; I didn’t believe in the so-called unconditional love; I didn’t want to have kids; I couldn’t cook and a piece of paper wouldn’t inspire my culinary skills overnight.
He listened everything patiently and smiled.
“Why you think all these things are necessary? I love you and no matter how you want to live your life, you will always find me besides you.”
I was gobsmacked for the next 10 minutes. I was increasingly finding it difficult to fathom how could one face every absurdity of mine with a smile.
I met him for four more days, but nothing seemed to change his attitude towards me. He went back to Vapi. Two months later he surprised me by appearing at Goa, where I was holidaying. He came just for five hours, and left on the same day. I was highly impressed, but my rigid mind still refused to believe that he was doing all these just for love.
“Probably he just wants to get laid”, I thought in my mind. I blocked him again, this time with a determination to not meet this man ever again. After a month, he again came on my birthday, sharp at 12! And how! He approached my house at midnight with a bouquet in hand. My parents were shocked to see him but he charmed everyone with his infectious smile. There were unlimited fights, cold behavior and nasty remarks from my end. But every-time he perched himself besides me with aplomb.
Today, it’s been 1 year and 6 months that we are married. He has successfully managed to disarm me and make me fall in love with him. UNCONDITIONALLY.
The most attractive thing about him is that he is a good soul, which extends into everything he does. He treats me like a princess; takes care of my parents more than I have ever done in my life; takes initiatives to bring me closer to some of my long lost friends; encourages me to write; channelizes my aggression and basically loves me for what I am. He taught me that unconditional love is not a myth. It can be a reality but you have to give it first.
As they say, once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen. Every day I am learning to be a better person than before and he is my inspiration for that.
Yesterday I was talking to a friend and she said “Marriage is just a burden. I have no expectations from life. I don’t know if there is anything called love.”
I smiled and replied, “Marriage is the most beautiful thing in the world but you have to wait for your Ratul Majumdar to make it believable.”
She looked as clueless as I was 3 years ago.