»I cannot use this word, « I said to myself when writing down a biographic story after the process of interviews, deep listening, collecting memories, stories and actually stepping into the shared story fully. »Hm, I cannot find another one, « I thought when trying to figure out how to continue the chapter I was working on. Somehow nothing seemed to click in fully. I felt the story stopped. The topic that revealed itself through the writing process and connecting the memories as a chapter, didn’t find the right flow yet. I felt as I am missing one part that would connect the dots, but I couldn’t find it. I struggled for a while and I knew I could use a turnaround in my writing, as choosing other words or maybe just continue and see later what this is all about, but…
»No, just make a pause, « I heard a voice from within. »Yeah, I cannot compromise on the words or on story, « I realized soon. I just couldn’t continue with my writing. Words didn’t come through, no matter how hard I tried.
Finally, I surrendered. »Ok, I’m taking a break, « and I crushed on the floor. Lying down, my arms stretched up and legs stretched down, thinking of nothing, just being, breathing deeply, an impulse to look around my room came to me. Not even consciously, I looked around and noticed the bookshelf. One book was popping out of the line and I was drawn to it. It was Paulo Coelho’s Pilgrimage. I took it out and opened one random site. While sitting myself back on the floor, I’ve started reading exactly where the book opened. I was reading out loud and could hear the words coming through my voice as being invited into my presence. At first, I was just enjoying in language but with each word pronounced out loud I was more and more immersed into the story.
»OMG, « I screamed loud and my heart just clicked faster. Suddenly I saw a direct answer to my struggling with the topic in my earlier writing. I’ve dived even deeper into the Pilgrimage story and suddenly found myself on this high journey into somewhere. My whole being was fully in it and I was getting first glimpses into behind the topic of the biography chapter I was working on. Much bigger picture started to reveal to me and it was like I am not present in this world anymore, but being somewhere where I actually experience much larger insights into what is the truth of the story and how the dots connect. I started to understand. Not only with my mind, but my whole body went through its own memory, remembering also my own experience and the truth behind it. I also saw something as would call collective story map and dots just precisely connected. The missing piece was found and the emotions stored in my body regarding to it, released. It seemed as writing and reading and living the stories all at the same time, activated my cellular memories and transformed my own truth, too.
I was reading until I got the wisdom fully and all was clear to me within my whole being. I didn’t know how long I was on this journey, I just came back in a moment when all clicked together and I could put the Coelho’s book down. I was still lying on the floor. Again with my arms stretched far up and my legs far down. This time I was in total peace. Energy was settling down as I knew the truth of the story I was working on. I was humble by it. Not only by the truth discovered but also by the process itself. I understood I couldn’t write the chapter before, since I needed to live through this topic first and experience the true meaning and reality behind it. As some magical guide that came to my path, the story in Paulo Coelho’s book triggered my memory and experience, and my body reacted also. I knew my body is the most trustful truth teller, so I could easily discern the true meaning of the chapter in progress, I knew how the story unfolds and dots of on the first sight dispersed memories just suddenly got the right connection. I’ve spotted the pattern and immediately knew how to proceed with writing. I got up, sat behind my computer and words just came through me again.
My writing suddenly was not just regular writing; it was actually the process of putting the true vibration of the story into the written form. In order to put it down in words, I needed to first understand the truth, the meaning behind the words and actually experience it with my whole being as to have it embodied. It was the only way the words would reveal themselves to me and carry within the pure vibration of truth, also showing me how to put vibration into the form.
Seeing one’s story from the higher perspective and connecting the dots from there into the truth that started to reveal itself trough the writing process itself, the shared story got the new meaning. I saw how the past is transforming the way into the future, since now the past was seen in the new light and new insights transformed the present moment, making a way to a different future.
»Words are so very much alive, « hit me. I somehow always knew that but only now, through actual experience, really understood what a powerful tool our words are and how we need to choose and use them wisely and with greatest respect, since they create our reality. And I’ve also come to even greater understanding how words can say many things but you can always recognize what is the truth, within the vibration that they are carrying.
For me, at that moment, there were no filters between words used in my writing and reality I was living. The story was so much alive that it transformed my own personal living story, too. All was one. It was clear: words are very much alive in our present lives, too. Either written or spoken, they travel to places and activate, leave traces wherever they land. What will the traces be, it’s up to you, using them in a proper manner. For sure they are a powerful tool of transformation, for when you change your inner world, your words change and with your words also your outer reality appears in a very new way. Right here and right now.