It was unnerving how one could rattle one’s heart with utter brutality and be oblivious to it. With utmost fear, Ahaana felt his presence indefatigably trying to ruin her control and unleash her desires.
The morning reminded her of a lingering loneliness and she felt the urge to wrap herself in a cocoon of never-ending dreamless sleep. However Ahaana was woken up by the sharp stop of the bus and she startled to life. She was restless once again. It was his stop. She was once again being charged by the luring emotions of painful lust.
Was it lust? Or was it a masterpiece of a devil’s work to torture her in fresh ways, reminding intermittently, of her disastrous luck in love?
She felt that her heart gagged in his presence. He walked towards her seat and sat down just behind her, making her hair follicles remind of their own roots! Ahaana closed her eyes. She was jostled by the very fact that a stranger could bring such an enigmatic effect on a being, who had had an unfortunate luck with people.
Ahaana used to follow him unconsciously. It was as if her heart had bypassed the connections of her head to take the reign, giving directions to her body.
It was lunchtime. Ahaana was ravenous. She decided to relieve herself and set out, subconsciously knowing that it was the same time he came to have lunch. The canteen door was tinted, like a mirror painted on the outside, so that you could see people from inside entering the canteen. Ahaana stood inside the canteen, looking through the doorway waiting for her chance to collect the plates.
There… that moment…
It was if somebody had punched her chest to pump volumes, constricting her air so much so that people could hear her breath. She saw him.. looking at her. Their eyes locked for the first time. It was as if Ahaana was out of time for once. The moment was brief but the effect magnanimous. She felt the chill down her back; her feet grew cold under his gaze. It was, beautiful.
Yes. The feeling that he invoked in her were that of pure exhileration and warmth, even though she went cold. It was paradoxical. To realize pleasure one needs to realize pain. To feel warmth, one needs to be cold.
She felt happy, that there could be a minute chance of him to be looking out for her too. This thought was apt and enough to make Ahaana’s day come alive.
Returning home had always been peaceful before she locked eyes with him. Seeing him off or rather, seeing him while he was getting down from the bus, was an activity Ahaana loathed. Her eyes would follow his gait, her heart secretly admiring his outline, his mannerism, and her soul immersed itself in the glory of imaginations. She had succumbed to the dreary desert of a lovely emotion. There were no efforts from her end to refrain herself from this deathly execution.
A month had lapsed. Ahaana’s feelings for him were confirmed, ruggedly etching their way to her heart and defiantly denying any resistance from her reasoning, which had lost its way into the deep abyss of fantasy. The routine was set, the mornings and the evenings were now visual delights, the afternoons dragged only to reveal a cool sensuous evening, in her dreams and of her dreams. She was paralysed by his gravity, so attracted she was to his ways. It was a herculean task to concentrate on any of the meetings involving him. Such was his captivation of her heart.
A picnic was decided by the youth forum. Ahaana was elated by the fact that she might finally get to be near this Adonis and he might also be pleased to meet the female in her, minus the work-attires. The chatter about the venue for the picnic was in full swing.
“Why did the last picnic plan fail?” Ahaana asked, hoping in her hearts of hearts to eliminate any possible chance of failure to meet her Adonis.
“Well , you see they all have families or are engaged, so they have issues in coming out for a get-together” her colleague replied.
Ahaana felt a jolt. A numbing sensation engulfed her and her hand went cold. A rising fear took over her entire being.
“ALL of them??” she dared to ask.
“Yes, most of them, either married or engaged. You see there, that guy, he just got engaged a month back. He’s getting married in January.” Her Adonis was already spoken for.