Paradise Descent

About Devang Desai

An accountant's journey of 40 years gathering non- financial insights about people , their relationships & their environment . Learning from the experiences of the many who have travelled before and trying to create enjoyable readings from words , ideas and self-realizations .

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Geometry of Nature with its borders haunt the three characters. Minds struggle to fathom their depths; minds flounder as they confront and co-operate. The story is about obsessions; a false sense of temporary control is felt over others by each character. A false hope of mastering their own desires drives their actions.
Triangles tell the whole story; Sindoor, Rahas and Anadhi are trapped in it. Life interactions among the three happen in different ways; individual Paradises are found and lost; do the paths follow the second law of thermodynamics : inevitable decay and descent?
Is Nature, and hence, are humans best understood only by ungoverned sexuality?

“We are energy, our being consists of the expenditure of quantities of energy; erotic life provides the clearest context for energy spent for its own sake, in forms that greatly exceed reproductive necessity.”
– in the world of Anadhi , Rahas and Sindoor.

“She has finally agreed to meet; only at the coffee café.” Anadhi confirmed to her research guide. This field study would enable her to complete her study project about why women walk the streets; her findings were startling and went against the usual reasons of failed families and economic compulsions.

The source was a ‘friend’ cultivated on a ‘dating’ site and with regular payments, she was treated to a reality that few would accept. Here was a girl who wantonly desired to be a sex worker; and there were many like her. Anadhi was certain this was a compulsive behavior, which would not be easy to stop.

The girl was in her late twenties and was comfortably dressed up in a tight fitting dress with light make-up. They had earlier shared pictures and like old friends, Anadhi was greeted with a warm hug. She was not alone; there were two other girls, similarly attired with searching eyes. As she went and introduced herself to Sindoor, the other girls looked her over and smiled, knowingly.

“Lucky you, Sindoor; tell her we are also willing” and all laughed as Sindoor pulled her away from the table and stepped out on the pavement.

“I should have chosen another place” and both moved towards the place where Anadhi had parked her car. They drove around and after Anadhi put a cover in her hands, she opened up.

“So you want to know about me, you said. I have a few places where I move around twice a week; its good money and I like it. For a quick one, I also wait at some corner streets and its usually the middle-aged guys wanting a bj in the car. Also, a few very young and inexperienced want to talk, hold hands and kiss in the dark corners. And they pay well too.”

“Do you enjoy doing this? Don’t you feel you should have someone regular?”

“I tried regular in my home city; was about to get married too. But then, I got involved with a married guy when there was a family wedding. We used to meet in this city often and I stayed in a hotel with him. He went back to his wife but I became friendly with the hotel owner. I kept coming to meet him and slowly learnt, he would hire out hotel rooms for couples. We would often watch others doing; he had cameras. And then I left home and stayed here sharing room with two other girls.”

“So, are you not afraid of strangers and cops?”

“I love strangers; you are one right? And I have nothing to be afraid off. I know what people want from me and that is available. Also I am careful; only with protection and regular check-ups. For other things, hotel makes all arrangements.”

That night, after dropping off Sindoor at her corner, Anadhi had a disturbing dream; dressed-up like Sindoor she was sitting in one of those cafes. Crossing her legs and adjusting her dress, she looked up anticipating the feel of hungry eyes seeking her attention. And she woke up with a start. The scene seemed too real; what had she become?

To Be Continued in Next Part….

“I am getting too involved, I feel.” Anadhi confided to her project guide, who advised her to do the project jointly with another, preferably a male to ensure personal safety. “I recommend Rahas, who also I mentor for his project. But his topic is slightly different; he is also trying to capture the contagious impact of one person’s behavior on another person.”

“So, you suggest we not only analyze Sindoor’s mind state but also someone closely involved with her?”

“He calls it the ‘rub off’ effect and has traced its origins to many cases where kidnapped person has later become the kidnapper; pastor engaging into sexual activity with his repentant flock; statesman negotiating peace turning war-monger. He is collecting evidence to propose a different way to treat people with addictive behaviors. Rahas strongly believes in Robotic Interventions and not involve vulnerable human psychiatrist for treating people with obsessive compulsive disorders.”

“Interesting. So will he study me along with Sindoor?”

“Ideally, yes. But there is also a controlled experiment way. You capture the conversations of Sindoor and your reactions and submit to Rahas for doing the co-relation. Over a larger sample period, you will find your pattern of thoughts converging or diverging from those of Sindoor’s; which way is the unknown part with lots of new learnings.”

“And would you be the master observer?”

“An observer, hopefully impartial like Rahas’s robot.”

The unsmiling face of Rahas was the takeaway of the meeting with Rahas arranged by the guide. The arrangement was to collect the data and leave it with him to dissect. There would be no sharing of process of interpretation as they all agreed, it would lead to contamination and bias.

The whole approach appeared professional as in a clinical lab; minds being mingled to measure its influences. Rules from physical sciences were blatantly applied to social sciences; simply speaking, Sindoor and Anadhi were chemical substances. Rahas would play the role of catalyst and the guide, like the human-aspiring-god, waiting for the outcome.

The stage was set and Anadhi introduced Sindoor to Rahas through her interview notes. He assumed the role of the ‘protector’; regularly dropping and picking up Anadhi and watching them from a distance. She considered him as her tacit bodyguard; unknowingly he was grooming himself as their accomplice.

That night Anadhi drew the first triangle. Two sides with the names Sindoor and Anadhi and on the third slope, she put the word ‘giggle’!

To Be Continued in Next Part…

Anadhi remembered bidding goodbye to the last of the teen digit and stepping out from school into the new world of girlfriends and their many boyfriends. She was conservatively family-coached, not to be enticed and be like them.

But young hearts love the challenge of the age old sermons; there was a special sense of guilt flouting that added magic to their lives. Anadhi became part of the whispering giggles of her powder room buddies as bolder stories were shared, prodding others to do more.
But there were few special ‘giggles’ which remained only with her; deeply closeted, safely tucked under her pulsating breast.

As Anadhi waited for Sindoor, she watched the two girls completing their juices and getting ready for the long night. They could not place her but smiled nonetheless; hoping for a customer rather than a competitor in her. She had wondered how such girls looked at their relationships.

And she drifted.

It was now six years from that evening when her night life underwent a change. There was a heated discussion among the various tenants, where she stayed with her family, complaining to the landlord about the shady occupants of the building next-door.

The families were shocked one day to see hotel like rooms being done up and every evening cabs would roll in with four girls in each; a few taking the elevators but many preferring to walk up to the allotted rooms.

There was a controlled environment in the hotel rooms. Initially the owners assured nuisance free business for mostly visiting guests. The a.c. rooms with shut windows aimed to keep the action within and the girls were swiftly driven away in the early morning before the street respectfully dawned.

The gentle tap on her shoulder brought her back before the smiling face of Sindoor.

“Dreaming about me?” Sindoor laughed at Anadhi’s discomfort. The words hit her hard; similar tone and words, one night she had heard .

At 19, reading for her college exam, she preferred the nights as the city slept. The reading of abstract theories was best suited when calm prevailed outside and inside too. Comfortably on her back or stomach, she would have no compulsions to a physical discipline of a classroom; the night garments also gave her the freedom in her private space.

The occasional gnashing of a vehicle or loud arguments of drunken late home-returnees, were avoidable noises to her and rarely disturbed her. But then that night there was a new sound; a ‘giggle’ emanating from the window room across. That much talked-about neighbor with girls hurriedly packed in that unapproachable ‘red light’ building.

Tonight, the window was wide open and a young girl’s face with limbs reclining on the window panes, was scanning for any life on the streets. Bored, looking up  she noticed the reclining unaware Anadhi in her lighted room.

A giggle followed the two whispered words ‘not again’ startling Anadhi. Her first reaction was straightening her clothes and closing the window on the smiling girl. She had never noticed her thumping heart could be an intruder. That girl must be one of them. She went back to the window rechecking the latch and pulled it tight , mentally never to let in any such sounds.

That week she changed her study schedule; sleeping early and waking up at dawn to avoid the sounds. Little did Anadhi know about the girls who sleep only during the day time. That morning, the sounds were more colourful, intense; leaving very little to the imagination of even the untainted, novice mind of Anadhi.

So it became a habit; studies became secondary, as the bigger life lessons were taught to Anadhi, unintentionally by the expert girls. Her mind took over from there; she would see herself in that room and speak their words and learn their tricks. An unnatural way to learn the delicate desires of body; her mind was first to learn and mind has a way not to unlearn. She had learnt to create her own private paradise.

She had taken the first steps to know her mind and body. And then there was that awakening; a two month study where she met the couple who taught her things; a hand-holding to seek her paradise; a period she was reluctant to face and so kept buried deep down in forgotten layers.

The years rolled by and similar giggle awakened her.

“I’m curious about your dreaming today. You seem lost. Tell me about him or maybe her; enough talking about me till now.” Thehe chirpy Sindoor led her by the hand to the café door. “Tell her”, her mind spoke, How it all began with a ‘giggle’ and now she was reliving those scenes, years later through Sindoor.

To Be Continued in Next Part


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